hmms. today i went online since afternoon to hope that miss toh would just erase off that busy status of hers. haha.
finally. my patient waiting paid off. she was online! =) haha. in the night. imagine. i waited for lyk 7 hours. lols. den i mustered all my courage and said hello. despite me being neglected the first two tries.

the first time. i said hello
miss toh. can i ask you a physics question?

No response.

the second time. i said hello.ehs. you busy arhs.

again.

No response.

my skin is probably getting thicker and thicker. cuz now. i don feel my face blushing. or me sweating profusely.or tongue tied. just my heart pounding very fast.

i can still rmb on friday. i had a basketball and soccer ball in tow. and was kicking around. i was waiting for The Time to arrive. i dragged jq to the staffroom. just hoping to catch a glimpse of her. i told her our excuse.
'if any teacher asks us wad are we doing there. we'll just sae we are looking for mdm yeo's pigeon hole.'
heng. mr ting passed by. and eyed at us suspiciously. haha. luckily we had it all planned. den we turned our backs and left. dono y i turned to take one last look into the staff room. and saw miss toh.
arrgh. i really have no fate with her. see. once i turn my back. she appears. hais.haha.

den i told serene and jq to walk out cuz i knew miss toh always leaves at 6. so i pretended to dribble the soccer ball. taking up the whole footpath. knowing she had to say 'excuse me' to pass. haha.well. she did. den dono where this courage came from.
i talked to her! den she was very
friendly.
laughing and smiling.
den she overtook us.

i asked serene abt her route home. and ran through a shortcut. haha. indeed. i was way earlier den her. den i pretended to be nonchalent. and played around wif my soccer ball whilst walking. suddenly i heard a voice.
xia dao wo.
she talked to me. haha. den i bluffed her i was going to my cousin's house. and anyhow point to a block near hers. haha. so we ended up walking together and talking.
haha. she plays bball too. cant believe it. and her birthday was just over. if i'm not wrong. oct 15.
from a photo, to adding her in msn, to walking home with her, and today, chatting with her.
my skin was just getting thicker and thicker.

anyway. today i chatted her up.and she replied me. with a warming hihi. =) haha. den i asked her physics. which i think she was about to vomit blood liao. cuz i don understand. but she was very helpful and friendly. with hee and haha. =)

den somewhere into the conversation. i asked changed the topic to basketball. at first she was interested.(to me) den i felt she found me a nuisance. as her reply was getting shorter and shorter. hais. dejected. i stopped chatting too. she ended with a oic. and i said yeah.
No response.

i tot. well.maybe later when she is about to offline. she'll sae bye to me.

so i waited.
and waited.
and waited.

at 11.30.
her status was offline.
i looked at my screen.

No blinking blue tab.
hais.

i think i'm really obessed with her. but i think i shld keep my distance from her liao. if not she will avoid me even more.

yulin.
serene.
jia qian.
pei shi.
eileen.
aileen.
violet.

what do they have in common?

well. for one. dey said it was kinda obvious tt i liked miss toh.and miss toh shld know.
damn.
damn. damn. damn.

i have nv been rejected before my whole life.
(mostly because i'm afraid to lose)
and because of miss toh.i cant concentrate.
i havent been studying. cuz all i can think of is
miss toh.
miss toh.
and
miss toh.

nvm.forget it.

nowadays. there have been thoughts to erase huixian's msg from my hp.
although i want. but something is stopping me.
even though my feelings for her have faded.
always and forever does not exist in my dictionary. AT ALL. period.